rest in peace, icon of simple beauty. all hail the new label of darkness, which bends the natural laws of perspective to show dominion over reality, and which embraces the shadow of three dimensions to signify intrusion into our lives
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
This happened last night, not today, but still less than 24 hours ago.
So my husband LOVES birds, all kinds of birds. He thinks they are great. He is especially fond of ducks. Last night while he was in the kitchen prepping a snack, I thought it would be fun to change the desktop photo on his laptop (he had left it open on the couch). I found a cute duck picture, made it his desktop background, set the laptop back on the couch, and made my way innocently back to the kitchen table where I had also been having a snack.
My husband finishes his snack a little while later and heads back to the couch while I remain at the table. He pulls his computer towards him and goes, “OMG honey look! Ducks!” As he stands up holding his laptop and tries to come to me, he trips and falls over the glass end table we have, shattering it. If that wasn’t bad enough, he fell onto his macbook, smashing it completely open and crushing it. If that also wasn’t bad enough, he also broke his wrist because of how he fell on it since he was holding the laptop.
I feel like a terrible person, but my husband still loves ducks.
TL;DR: My husband got so overexcited over a picture of ducks I procured that he broke himself, a table, and his macbook.
(via ugly)
When My Uncle, who’s completely deaf, was about 17, he got in a heated argument with my great aunt, his mother. They were furiously signing back and forth. Suddenly they both stopped and started laughing and laughing. My great aunt had accidentally signed, “Don’t you yell at me.”
If I witnessed that Bruh omg 😭😭😭😭😭😭
“Use your inside hands!”
USE YOUR INSIDE HANDS IM
(via spongebobssquarepants)
I am here for Ted Cruz’s college roommate constantly dragging him on Twitter.
Dead.
(via moodbig)
The most dramatic moment during my Camp Counseling career at an all girls camp was when a girl got a letter from a friend saying that Zac Efron had died and one of her bunkmates ran out of the cabin and shouted “ZAC EFRON IS DEAD!!!!!” and the camp immediately fell into chaos girls were crying in the middle of camp and running around spreading the news everyone was yelling and the counselors had to look up wether or not Zac Efron was dead (this is a wireless camp so the girls couldn’t access the internet and check for themselves) and then get out a megaphone and be like “ZAC EFRON IS NOT DEAD PLEASE REMAIN CALM” outside of all the cabins it was insanity.
(via teenmedusa)
I’m actually a really nice person. I’m just used to being walked all over and disrespected, so sometimes I come off as mean, but I just can’t let people take advantage of me, and I had to grow up really fast, okay? But I promise I have a good heart and good intentions, and I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, but sometimes I just have to have the upper hand and make sure I don’t get hurt. I’m sorry. I love everyone.
Somebody fucking said it.
(via omgtvdismylife)
(via teenscoolest)